someone threw a dead crab at me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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