Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
