your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
