I got chris browned last night
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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