I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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