porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
