Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
