I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
