The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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