it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
