I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize