Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
