she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
