Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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