In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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