shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You made out with two different species that night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
