I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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