i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize