So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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