Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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