I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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