your parents love me but you hate me
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
