Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
