i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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