LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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