They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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