You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize