dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
