sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize