Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
