It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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