Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
third nipple confirmed
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
