Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
