In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
