be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
