Screwed.edu
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
not ubering you a puppy
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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