Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize