the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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