last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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