Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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