escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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