i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
