Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
