i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
