Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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