literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
