Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
