last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
