I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize