Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
