he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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