Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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