First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
