I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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