just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize