Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
