cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
