Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
this is an emotional support booty call
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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