Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
