I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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