I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
