I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
