I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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