very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
