well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
