Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
