wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
